Think Positive!

I am a little depressed because I didn't make my 10 day goal to be out of the hospital.  Today is day (9) since my actual transplant.  Based upon today's labs I won't make it out on my 10th day since transplant either. So here I will be,  still in the hospital, enclosed in the same four walls.  The last few days have been extremely difficult.  I have no energy and experiencing all of the nasty side effects I was hoping to skip this second time around.  Diarrhea, vomiting, mucusitis, fever, sore throat, nausea, to name just a few. It is hard to even lift my head off the pillow.  I just know that if I keep thinking positive I will be out of here sooner, so that's what I am trying to do.

I still have not grafted. Most likely a result of not being able to take the nupagen.  My body is working overtime with everything going on in my body.  As a result so is my heart.  That makes us all a little worried.  I haven't been out of my room the last two days as I just don't feel up to it.  I really don't have an appetite either, but I know I don't want the TPN (food in an IV bag) so I am trying my hardest.

They tried to give me Marinol, which is deemed the medical marijuana to try and help increase my appetite, but instead my body didn't like it, I just felt worse.  They also gave me Ambien to sleep and that just made me more sick.  So after yesterday they started reducing the number of drugs I was taking, except the antibiotics.  With the fever of 102 they worry of infection and they have now increased antibiotics since I have no immune system. They are also waiting for lab results to come back so they know if they can give me Imodium for the diarrhea.  The nurses made a mistake so the sample didn't get sent out when we thought it would.  I would really like for that to go away, but if it comes back there is an infection there is nothing they can do but treat it with an oral antibiotic while I suffer through.

Fred and the girls have been super worried, but they are trying their best to make sure that I am well taken care of and that things are happening as they should.  The staff at the hospital in generally pretty good, but  they are not perfect and there have been challenges.  I just need to graft so I can get home and work on recovering and trying to get back to normal.   I miss my home, my bed, my shower, and my dog.

A few of my counts today for anyone who is monitoring:

Nutrfils:  0 (There need to go up so I can go home.  This is my immune system and the number we watch to see if I am grafting.
Hematocrite:  26
Creatinine:  1.55
BNP:  1950
Platelet's:  58